It's a Miracle!

I woke up from a dead sleep a little after 6:30 a.m. this morning.  I had been home for not quite 12 hours from our trip to the BYU Fathers and Sons Basketball Camp over the weekend.

J. had had a doctor's appointment yesterday and the word was that even though she was two days past her due date, the baby was not going to come naturally for at least another week.  I slept soundly last night knowing that I would need the sleep since J. was scheduled to be induced early tomorrow morning (Thursday).

I was wrong.

The words that woke me up this morning were spoken by J.: "My water broke!"

Somehow, I managed to get up and get going.  Thank goodness I had unloaded my car last night!  J. was amazingly calm.  Less than 30 minutes after waking up, I had us walking into the emergency room.  (I ditched my car in some empty parking spot right next to the E.R.  Hopefully, my car has hasn't been towed by some angry doctor or hospital administrator whose spot I snagged!)

Obviously, this was after J. got her epidural!

J.'s nervousness subsided when Dr. Hancock arrived to administer the epidural.  Dr. Hancock was great, but the whole time he was here, I kept wishing my brother Dr. S. was the anesthesiologist instead.  Things calmed down quite a bit after the epidural and J. and I actually got in a couple of naps.

One of a Couple Naps at the Hospital...
This Baby Business is Exhausting!

At about 11 a.m., I realized that the doctor (Dr. Stadler) and the nurses were saying that the baby was close.  J. felt like she wanted to push.  After about 2 (maybe 3) pushes, the baby slipped right on out.  I just remember thinking that the baby was all arms and legs as he practically leaped from the womb.  I guess once he decided he was ready, he didn't want to wait another second to make his entrance into the world!

Cutting the Cord

It was 11:10 a.m.  It seemed like the total labor lasted about 2-3 minutes (at least of J. actively pushing).  I couldn't have been happier for J. that this delivery went so smoothly after what has been the hardest of all her pregnancies.

Baby D. weighed in at 8 pounds, 9 ounces.  He was 19.5 inches long.  He seems perfect to me and both he and his mom are doing great.  He hardly seems to cry at all and has been trying to eat already.

Baby D

The hospital here has a program that encourages skin-to-skin bonding with the baby and its parents.  Within 10 minutes of being born, the amazing delivery staff here at the hospital had practically abandoned us so that we could just hold him.  It was awesome.

This experience has reminded me just what a miracle the birthing process is.  I feel so blessed to have such a cute little guy come to our home.  Baby D., now that you're here, we can't wait to get to know you!

The New Addition to the Fam

This Will Buff Right Out...

You might be a redneck if...you have to duct tape your mirror to your car.

There was a little incident with an aggressive, jumping, orange traffic barrel last night.  I think I'd be more ticked if I weren't absolutely convinced that this will buff right out!  =o)

Spring Recital

R. Was So Excited For His First Recital

Tonight R. had his first piano recital.  He has been playing for four months.  Thankfully, he is not like his dad and we never have to remind him to practice.  He was second tonight and all of his hard work paid off.  I felt like such a stage dad taking this video, but it's not that long and I thought he did such a great job!

I was really impressed with all of the students who did performances tonight.  I was actually a little sad that I had to leave a little early because I had a basketball game.  (Normally I would have skipped the game, but the recital was actually a half hour later than I had been told and our team was short of players for the game.)

Notice how the kids have activities to keep them quiet during the recital...
...I wish I could take credit for that idea, but it was J.'s brilliant idea!

R., great job today.  I never thought I'd say this, but it is fun to hear you practicing the piano.  To my mom, thanks for making the drive up, I loved getting a chance to sit with you at the recital.  And to R.'s piano teacher, thank you and congrats on a night filled with wonderful performances.  Keep up the good work!

A Mere 3 Seconds

"He Ain't Heavy" -- My Brother and I in Last Year's Race (2011)

I did a 5k race yesterday morning.  Not just any 5k race--it was my hometown race--the Encinitas 5k.  I did this race last year with my brother (see above) and set a PR in the race.  My time was 22:23 (a 7:13 pace per mile).

I was really happy with my time.  Going into the race, I had no idea what time I could expect.  I told my brother that I was hoping to do an 8 minute mile pace.  My brother had other ideas--he wanted to run faster.  When the race started last year, I dropped back and just tried to keep my brother in my sights.

I felt like I had a chance to keep up with him through the race and I came close.  I finished 33 seconds behind him (I ran a 22:23 (a PR for me) and he ran a 21:50) and I was really happy with that time.  It was funny though because after the race, my brother told me that he was ticked the whole race because he kept trying to run away from me (because he thought I was going to be running slow) and couldn't!

Faces in the Crowd -- Can You find Me?  -- Last Year's Race (2011) 

This year was different.  I kept trying to get my brother to run with me, but his knee has been bothering him and he didn't think he could do it.

I drove down to Encinitas yesterday morning by myself.  I hoped that my parents might come or that my brother might, but I wasn't sure if they would.  About 5 minutes before the race started, my brother showed up and I was excited to see him even though he had decided not to run.  Even though I had to race by myself, I was anxious to see how I would do.

The gun went off and I took about 10 seconds to work myself to the starting line amidst the throngs of other runners and get started.  I felt good starting, but quickly found myself dodging a pack of what seemed like 10 or 11 year old kids running chaotically in front of me.  I had no choice but to kick in the afterburners and get around them because I didn't want to risk tripping them or myself.

Once I got past them, I found a little bit of open road and realized that I was running fast (at least for me).  It was exhilarating.  For some reason, I found myself remembering the following quote from Eric Liddel in the movie "Chariots of Fire."

Hopefully I didn't look this funny while I was running....

"I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast.

And when I run I feel His pleasure."

I know that I'm not "fast" but I felt fast (at least at that point) and it felt really good to be able to be out there running.  It is really weird to explain, but I feel like I've had some spiritual experiences while running, in particular, and I felt like this was one of them.  I went on to clock the first mile in 6:28 which was a great time for me (last year my first mile in this race was 6:46).

I did make one mistake, however, in that I decided to run wearing a compression shirt under my running shirt.  I hadn't done this before and the nervousness and excitement of the start of the race coupled with my faster-than-normal pace and the compression fitting of the shirt had me feel like I was hyperventilating.  It was not a pleasant sensation.  I had to force myself to calm down and breathe.  I would feel like that dang shirt was constricting me for the rest of the race--making it harder to breathe.  I think that will be the last time that I ever wear a compression shirt in a race!

About half way through the race, I spotted my dad walking up and I was really excited to see him.  I tried hard to maintain a good pace through the race, but it was difficult to tell how well I was doing--especially because there were no mile markers for miles 2 and 3.  I knew approximately where they were supposed to have been because I had scoped out the course, but I wasn't sure.

Louie Zamperini - the hero of "Unbroken"

I passed my brother standing on the sidelines with about a half mile to go in the race.  He would later tell me that he thought that I looked "more substantial" than the rest of the runners with whom I was running at that point.  I know that the really fast runners tend to be very, very lean, but my brother might as well have been trying to compliment me by telling me that I was basically the "Fastest Fat Guy" in the race.  Gee, thx!

Somehow, I dug deep to find a finishing kick for the final stretch of the race.  I couldn't tell how far I had to go, but I thought it would be close if I wanted to beat my time from last year.  I crossed the finish line and I still didn't know for sure.  It wasn't until I checked the final results that I learned that my final time was 22:20, meaning that I beat last year's time by a mere 3 seconds!

Anyway, I'm glad that I did the race and I realized that I need to keep practicing if I want to get better.  I don't know exactly when my next race will be, but I'll be looking forward to it.  Dad and S., thanks so much for coming down to cheer me on!  I love you both!  (And Scott, if any of your pictures turned out, I'll be sure to update this post with them!)

Every Beautiful Thought's Been Already Sung?

This is something that's been on my mind lately...

I recently read a couple of books about World War II.  I was impressed by the letters that the soldiers wrote home and how eloquent they were.  One book quoted a prayer written by the mother of a U.S. soldier who was a prisoner of war.  The mother's prayer was short, simple, beautiful, and profoundly expressed her heart's deepest desires.

In our modern high-tech society, we have so many ways to communicate and we can do so effortlessly, instantaneously, and (essentially) for free.  

(So long as you have an unlimited text messaging plan that is...one of my brothers didn't and after a recently getting a monthly bill with an unexpected $58 worth of text messages, I think he's finally getting one!)

But even with the miracle of modern technology, I wonder if we are merely using more words and/or modes of communication and, yet, actually saying less...

Modern Day Prose:

I cite some recent chart-topping examples:

Bruno Mars -- Not a Really a Poet In My Book

If you ever leave me, baby,
Leave some morphine at my door
'Cause it would take a whole lot of medication
To realize what we used to have,
We don't have it anymore....

--"It Will Rain" by Bruno Mars

'Cause what you don't understand

Is I'd catch a grenade for ya

Throw my hand on a blade for ya

I'd jump in front of a train for ya

You know I'd do anything for ya

--"Grenade by Bruno Mars"

There's just something about "taking a whole lot of medication" or having morphine left on your doorstep that really brings home the imagery of the power and majesty of true love...NOT!  

Also, I'm not sure what Bruno Mars was thinking with the list of things he'd do to prove his love.  I'd argue that whoever he's dating that is constantly in such mortal peril may need much more than a boyfriend.  She'd probably be better off with a good counselor for starters.  Or maybe she just needs to marry a doctor or EMT!

Katy Perry -- Her Prose Doesn't Exactly Make Me See Fireworks

"Do you ever feel like a plastic bag...?"

--"Firework" by Katy Perry

Yes, there is nothing more inspirational than comparing oneself to a "plastic" bag.  I even like some of Katy Perry's songs, but this type of prose ought to be banned just like environmentally minded municipalities across the country are banning real plastic shopping bags.

The Good Old Days:

On the other hand, check out some of these examples from the good old days (before every beautiful lyric had already been sung)...

Oingo Boingo -- My Favorite Band in High School

With sadness in my heart and joy in my mind
I thought about the ghost that we left behind
With everyone around telling us what to do
With deafening sound whisper: "I love you."
The fire in your eyes--may it never go out.
The sweetness of your tears make it feel like night.
I see no escape from the roles we always play
What do we have to prove on this judgment day?

--"Not My Slave" by Oingo Boingo

Oingo Boingo is a great band and this is just the first example that I thought of for them.  What does it mean?  I'm not entirely sure (I've heard it said that it is an ode to the band's fans), but the prose (from 1987) is well put together and shows that the songwriter (Danny Elfman) has actually thought about the message he is trying to convey.

The Cure

Whenever I'm alone with you,
You make me feel like I am home again.
Whenever I'm alone with you,
You make me feel like I am whole again.
Whenever I'm alone with you,
You make me feel like I am young again.
Whenever I'm alone with you,
You make me feel like I am fun again.

However far away,

I will always love you.
However long I stay,

I will always love you.
Whatever words I say,
I will always love you,
I will always love you.

--"Lovesong" by The Cure

This song from The Cure (circa 1989) is simple, repetitious, yet haunting.  

Cause baby, there ain't no mountain high enough,
Ain't no valley low enough,
Ain't no river wide enough,
To keep me from getting to you, babe.

--"Ain't No Mountain High Enough" by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell (also by Diana Ross) 

Even though this prose is not proper English, it's fun, catchy, and inspiring.  The message is clear and it's just a great song.  Even though it's from long before I was born (the song was first released in 1967).

It's not just music either...Listen to this letter from an unknown Civil War mother:

I never had any taste for war - indeed have always had a most unmitigated horror of it as an evil worse than pestilence or famile - but, it is a more obvious fact that this war has been forced upon us by a most unrelenting bitter and arrogant despotism - I must meet it as other mothers are compelled to meet it. I could not expect my son with his ardent temperment to remain indifferent. And I trust and pray that God may protect him, and that he may do honor to the memory and virtues of his Revolutionary Grandsires. But there are considerations that make it very bitter, very depressing to my feelings...

--Unknown Civil War Mother -- July 10, 1861

Think back to the last text or email that you received from someone.  I doubt it even came close to expressing it thoughts as articulately as did this random mother who was understandably concerned that she might have to lay a very "costly sacrifice...upon the altar of freedom."  (To quote Abraham Lincoln's 1864 letter to Mrs. Bixby.)  

So, Selena, though it may seem like every beautiful thought's already been sung, I hope you're wrong.  There must still be room in our world for more inspirational music and lyrics.  It's our job to create them.

What lame song lyrics have been bugging you lately?

UPDATE:  My brother reminded me of this gem from Nelly: "It's getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes...I am getting so hot, I want to take my clothes off."  Classy!

The Rogues Gallery

Emily M.

First of all, I want to apologize to my readers for the photo that I put up in my last post.  It was big and it was obscene.  Even I don't want to look at it and I regret going so "low rent" on my blog--which is a family blog. I need to bury that post...stat!  I'd say that the picture above of Emily Maynard is a big improvement. (That may be the understatement of they year!)

I feel like the Bachelor producers, including Mike Fleiss and Chris Harrison, "owe" us this season because we had to suffer through the Caveman Bachelor last season.  One of the reasons why I did the "Beauty and the Beast" post was so that we could remember how truly, bitterly awful that last season was and thus appreciate this season all the more.

So without further ado, here is my recap:

The episode started with a recap of Emily's Bachelor history...Brad this...Brad that..Frankly, I was sick of Brad about a minute into the montage of video scenes.  I'm sure most of Bachelor-nation, however, loved it. The more shots of Brad the better.

Emily commented on how you're only supposed to be engaged to the person that you're going to marry.  Yet she has been engaged twice and never been married.  She acknowledged taking a "huge" risk to come on the show, but was willing to do it to find true love.

Perhaps I'm just a bit jaded here, but here's "A Little Advice For the Ladies"...Given the Bachelor/Bachelorette's track record of successful marriages, I daresay that the one place that you DO NOT go looking for true love would be this show!  Go on this show because you want to be romanced, travel to exotic locations, meet a fun person, go on helicopter rides, spend the night in a fantasy suite, or just because your life is boring.  Just don't fool yourself into thinking that you will actually meet the love of your life.  You won't.

Okay, my mini-rant is over....Now for the cast of characters:

Emily

"Stunning" -- That's how more than one contestant described Emily.
They must have all read the same talking points from the producers.

Did anyone else notice how often Emily made this face in the first few minutes?

Was it just me or did it seem like there was some chemistry between Chris Harrison and Emily?

Ricki

Ricki is undoubtedly going to be the breakout star of this season!

Onto the Rogues Gallery:

Alejandro

I've never met a mushroom farmer...

Ah yes, the mushroom farmer.  I wonder if he works at the famed Gilroy Gardens?  Wait, aren't mushrooms grown in manure and kept in the dark?  I'm just sayin'.  But I do appreciate his Spanish accent...muy lindo!  And Emily is a terrible Spanish speaker, but her "gringa" accent was very "chula tambien."

Alessandro

Beso, Beso..."That's how we do it back home."

Apparently Alessandro is a Minnesotan/Brazilian grain merchant and that combination yields quite the accent!  He's also a sly devil because he managed to plant two smackers on Emily--one on each cheek--and explained that "That's how we do it back home."  He didn't explain which home.  But I'm betting you're more likely to get kissed on the cheek in Florianapolis, Brazil rather than Minneapolis, Minnesota.

Emily's response to his Minnesotan-twanged Portuguese was pretty funny: "I'm gonna say Gracias!"

Arie

Dopplegangers?

Arie is the race car driver.  Is it just me or does he bear a striking resemblance to Ian Somerhalder from the Vampire Diaries?  Apparently, Arie is going to be a fan favorite this year.

I thought that it was interesting during the cocktail party when Arie asked Emily if she was okay with the fact that he was a race car driver.  Emily gave the biggest pregnant pause as she struggled desperately for words: "Ummm.....yeah, I am.  Totally."  Problem was that she didn't really seem all that okay with it.  I predict that it may be more difficult for her than she let's on.  Of course she did say: "He'd [Arie would] be hot in a race car."  I'm pretty sure that's why she's going to try really hard to get over any problems with Arie's race car career.

Brent

"Hello, My Name is __Brent___"

Here's Brent.  41.  Father of 6.  Doesn't he realize that this show is for the 20-Something and 30-Something crowd?  How did he make his way through casting??

Brent had a name tag to help us remember his name.  The deal was that he put the name tag on and then Emily was supposed to come take it off when she didn't "need it anymore."  The problem is that Brent didn't get very far before his name tag came off...(in fairness, he did have it back on at the cocktail party.)  The producers never did show us Emily taking off his name tag because she didn't need it anymore.

Now you see it...Now you don't (it's now in his hand)

But that didn't stop Brent from dumping all of his baggage on Emily's doorstep.  At the cocktail party, not only did he tell her that he had 6 kids, but he also brought pictures and forced Emily to look at them!  Here's a tip Brent...there is such a thing as "Too Much Too Soon."  You managed to find it!

Then I hated the pity party that Brent threw himself when he didn't get a rose.  The reason why he wasn't picked had less to do with his "advanced" age and six kids than it did with the fact that he just was not that personable.  Next time, he may want to leave the family pix at home and rely on building a connection based on his personality--not his stack of photos.


Charlie

Charlie: "I may have had a head injury, but there's nothing wrong with my heart."

Charlie seems like a decent guy.  I hope he's all better from his traumatic brain injury.

Chris aka Bobblehead Guy

I couldn't bring myself to watch as they played Barbies Bobbleheads together,
but Emily seemed to dig it.

David

David - Singer/Songwriter

David is a singer/songwriter.  Apparently, he's really good at it.  If you don't believe me, just ask David.  He's not shy in letting us all know how talented he is.  He probably even penned that epic Carly Simon song: "You're So Vain."

"I don't want to like toot my own horn, but writing songs, comes natural--it's like walking...I've got a lot of songs specifically about trying to find true love.  [singing] Emilyyyyy, Emilyyyy, Emilyyyy, oh oh Emilyyyyy..."

Yes, that is a direct quote.  Check your DVR for the playback.  But after hearing his Ode to Emily, I'm a little concerned about his ability to walk.

I've got a lot of songs specifically about trying to find true love too.  Here's a sampling of some of my best ones:

• "Stacyyyyy, Stacyyyy, Stacyyyy, oh oh Stacyyyy..."
• "Kerryyyy, Keryyyy, Keryyyy, oh oh Keryyyy..."
• "Beckyyyy, Beckyyyy, Beckyyy, oh oh Beckyyyy..."

I know, I'm a natural!  Please don't get any thoughts about trying to steal my songs though.  I've got my attorney on speed-dial filing copyrights on these soon-to-be chart toppers as we speak.

Doug

TMI!

Doug's "a hugger, is that okay?"  He let that be known straightaway.  At least he saved Emily the indignity of trying to figure out whether to shake his hand, throw out a hug, or give him a high five.  He also let it be known that he "left a little boy at home" and then asked how Emily's daughter was doing.  It was polite, but probably more info than Emily needed to know about him in the first 60 seconds.

I guess he was trying to do anything he could to establish a connection with her.  It must have worked as he got the First Impression Rose.  I hope he's got more to his game than manipulating Emily by playing the "Single Parent Card."  They may have that in common, but I doubt that's enough for a lasting connection.

Horton/Travis

This egg is a symbol of Horton's love...

I refuse to call this man anything other than Horton.  Seeing him and his ostrich egg took me right back to junior high school where they used to make you take care of an egg so that you could be prepared to be a good parent.  What a gimmick!  Color me un-impressed...

It would have been great if Emily had dropped the egg or if Horton had plopped the egg down the minute he went into the cocktail party with the other guys.  Here's a little secret about ostrich eggs though....those suckers are hard!  You practically need an ax to crack one open.  So I think Horton built himself a little bit of a fudge factor into his whole egg experiment.  How did he manage to get a rose!!!

Jackson (the Fitness Model)

First Awkward Moment of the Night

Jackson came up, got down on one knee, and proclaimed: "Life's not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the number of moments that take our breath away.  This is one of those moments."  I cringed.  Was Emily really falling for this?  I couldn't tell at first.

Later, we learned that she wasn't.  Sadly, Jackson didn't get a rose.  He was pissed that Emily missed out on him--a self-described great guy, but he was even more pissed that America missed out on a chance to appreciate his body.  Not to worry though, he was willing to strip down to show the women of America exactly what Emily was missing out on.  I know, classy right?

Jef (with only one F)

Emily, your chariot has arrived!

Jef seems proud that people don't take him seriously.  I'm not so sure that I'd be proud of that myself if it were true about me.  He does know how to make an entrance and I give him props for that.  Emily clearly appeared a little smitten.  No wonder that he got a rose.

Joe

Joe is dancing off into the sunset...

Joe is excited to be there.  Can you tell.  His awkward dance moves showed plenty of enthusiasm, but very little rhythm.

Kalon/Helicopter Dude

The other dudes were jealous.

I was actually hoping that this would be Bentley.  Maybe we'll see Bentley in a future episode.  I have faith in him that he would bring the crazy!

I'm not sure that I like Kalon, but that's okay.  There's no shortage of love for Kalon by Kalon himself.  And he is loathed by the other guys.  I see lots of friction there and grist for the controversy mill that Fleiss/Harrison know how to stoke so well.

Lerone

Lerone from L.A.

I thought it was a bit odd when Lerone told us that one of the most attractive things about Emily was that she was a single mother.  He even said it a second time when he actually met Emily.  I still didn't believe it.

Apparently neither did Emily.  He didn't get a rose and was sent home packing.  He seems like a nice enough guy, but I think he was trying too hard to be the "sensitive" guy.  Problem was that he didn't seem all that sincere.

You'd think that since he's from L.A. he would know that once you can fake sincerity, you can do anything.  That philosophy is practically what built Los Angeles.  They don't call it La La Land for nothing.

Nate

Nate is an accountant

Nate seemed like a normal, decent guy and I think he will go far.  It's never a bad thing when a woman remarks: "You smell really good."  Did you notice how Emily reached out to hold his hands again?  Then as Nate walked off, Emily whispered: "So cute!"  I think she's definitely into him.

Randy/Granny

This may have been the weirdest moment of the night!

I don't even know where to start with this!  I was tempted to say nothing, but then was reminded that Granny/Randy is a marketing manager.  Shocking!  I'd say he did a pretty poor job of marketing himself.  I guess Emily and I are on the same wave length.  Poor Randy didn't get a rose.  :(

Stevie

"Party people in da house tonight...Shake dat!"

I'll say this for Stevie (the so-called Party MC), he's a better dancer than I am.  Then again, that's not really saying that much.  But he did make a memorable entrance with his handheld boombox.  I actually thought that it was kind of cool.

Stevie later turned snarky when he lit into Helicopter Dude.  It wasn't all that becoming.  Good thing that Emily didn't see, because it would have been an instant turnoff.

Tony

Tony from Oregon: "Well, this is a great batch we got here."

Yes, Tony, you don't have to be in the lumber business to realize how good this wood looks.  It's even stacked up right there all neat and orderly.  Tony has a 5 year old kid and he looks like a doting single father.  I actually liked him but should have guessed that he was a little corny when he came up with the following line in his introductory scene: "What has two thumbs and is going to marry Emily?  This guy."

Tony is all thumbs apparently

Tony would then go on to ruin it for me by showing up to meet  Emily with a real glass slipper.  On a pillow.  And introducing himself by saying: "My name is Bond Charming.  James Bond Prince Charming."  No he didn't.  Oh yes he did!   I'm surprised Emily didn't send him back to the limo right there and then.

It was complete with a real shoe fitting.  Obviously the producers clued him into her real shoe size.  Emily, to her credit, said what I believe every woman truly thinks: "I believe in true love and I believe in shoes, so you know me well."  Maybe she really did like it???

"The name is Charming, Prince Charming..."

Adios

The Not-So-Dearly Departed...

In the end, we said good-bye to these six gentlemen.  We could have easily said good-bye to five more in my book and not even skipped a beat.  Still, I think that there are a couple of guys that Emily seems interested in.  It should be an interesting season!